I woke up grumpy. I feel like I haven't slept in weeks. It's one thing or another throughout the night. One decides to sleep and the other two need their blankie or a drink, or had a bad dream, or a fever...the list goes on. I'm tired. I woke up thinking...this is gonna need strong coffee. Then I pleaded with the Lord to help me make it through this day. He responded with, "you are gonna need a strong devo...a strong time with Me." Ouch. I had first wanted coffee and to mindlessly scroll through my Facebook feed. Okay Jesus, if I am gonna make it through today I have to do what I know I must. So I dragged myself out of bed and sat at the table. Read a bit, prayed a lot, and started the day. I'm not going to say it has gone perfect, because that would be a lie. But, I can say it has gone better than it would have. I have been more patient this morning. I have not yelled as much as I could have. Just a sweet time in His presence helped me be a better mom. Without Him, the enemy gains his foothold and I am condemning myself at how awful of a mother I am.
I'm a negative person by nature. I naturally see what's wrong with the picture. I have to work at being positive and finding the good. Small things put me in a bad mood. I'm a perfectionist at times. BUT I know, and I can see that the Lord is refining those things in me. He's helping relax more. He's helping me not sweep the floor 100 times a day. (it's a sickness) He's helping me let the toys sit for a bit longer. Enjoy these small babes. I'm learning to look for the gifts each day. He's always working out something in us. Mine is the struggle to see the joys.
Today's joys...
The sound of the boys playing instead of fighting
Arabella asking me to hold her like a baby
Bella telling her daddy he can't leave without a kiss
The quiet of the schoolroom when they are working on making their fingerprints
Those are a few from this morning. I challenge you to get a journal and record a few gifts each day and then look back and see the little blessings...the ones that make your heart smile.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
16 Always be joyful. 17 Never stop praying. 18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
Excellent read Sarah. Having been at the farm I have a general idea of what needs to be done. I drive a lot. Two hospitals 15 miles apart and nearest one 12 miles from my house. My office is 10 miles from my house. I also happen to hate reading. So I found this guy called Ray C Steadman. He is dead but left some great podcasts bible studies. The guy teaches the bible, verse by verse over several months. Podcasts are at most 45 mins long. This is where I have made my biggest growth so far. These might be great for the farmer too, while he fights those flies in the fields. Be strong girl knowing that we are all planted where we need to be to do his will. Miss your babies very much!
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