Joy

I woke up grumpy.  I feel like I haven't slept in weeks.  It's one thing or another throughout the night.  One decides to sleep and the other two need their blankie or a drink, or had a bad dream, or a fever...the list goes on.  I'm tired.  I woke up thinking...this is gonna need strong coffee.   Then I pleaded with the Lord to help me make it through this day.  He responded with, "you are gonna need a strong devo...a strong time with Me."  Ouch.  I had first wanted coffee and to mindlessly scroll through my Facebook feed.  Okay Jesus, if I am gonna make it through today I have to do what I know I must.  So I dragged myself out of bed and sat at the table.  Read a bit, prayed a lot, and started the day.  I'm not going to say it has gone perfect, because that would be a lie.  But, I can say it has gone better than it would have.  I have been more patient this morning.  I have not yelled as much as I could have.  Just a sweet time in His presence helped me be a better mom.  Without Him, the enemy gains his foothold and I am condemning myself at how awful of a mother I am. 

I'm a negative person by nature.  I naturally see what's wrong with the picture.  I have to work at being positive and finding the good.  Small things put me in a bad mood.  I'm a perfectionist at times.  BUT I know, and I can see that the Lord is refining those things in me.  He's helping relax more.  He's helping me not sweep the floor 100 times a day. (it's a sickness)  He's helping me let the toys sit for a bit longer.  Enjoy these small babes. I'm learning to look for the gifts each day.  He's always working out something in us.  Mine is the struggle to see the joys. 

Today's joys...
The sound of the boys playing instead of fighting
Arabella asking me to hold her like a baby
Bella telling her daddy he can't leave without a kiss
The quiet of the schoolroom when they are working on making their fingerprints

Those are a few from this morning.  I challenge you to get a journal and record a few gifts each day and then look back and see the little blessings...the ones that make your heart smile. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

¹⁶ Always be joyful. ¹⁷ Never stop praying. ¹⁸ Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Who will you be?

I've always wondered when I look at my children and their completely different personalities, what they will be when they grow up.  Will they choose you, Lord?  And then a good friend of mine told me that I could pray that the Lord would reveal or give me insight into their lives.  So I began to pray, "Lord, show me what they will be.  Show me how to push and hold back in different areas of their lives so that I can teach them what you would want them to know."  I feel like the Lord has given me bits and pieces and spoken little things to me, and those things I have put in my personal journal so that I can look back and see if I was totally crazy, or if the Lord was speaking.  There's little things about each one that I watch and see their strengths.  If you see those in your kids, encourage those strengths.
I can't help but think that Brody will one day be a pastor or evangelist of some kind.  Even though he tells me he wants to be an engineer and build iron man suits...which is a wonderful thing...his discerning and soft spirit tell me otherwise.  He has no fear of speaking to strangers.  He loves to sing and memorize the Word.  He's a different kind of kid.  Last night while the storms were all around us, he decided we should sing, "I am, holding on to you. I am, holding on to you. In the middle of the storm, I am holding on, I am!"  He sang it for a while and then the storm calmed down.  He praised God and said, "He's listening.  He loves me mom.  He did that for me."  Then after a bit the storms came again, and I could hear him in his room singing that song til he fell asleep.  It made me think of Paul in jail praising the Lord despite his circumstances.
This morning we were talking about families and choices and how every choice we make has a consequence.  Then I sat down to drink my coffee.  Bella was on my lap.  He walks over and lays his hands on her and asks if he can pray.  I said of course.  He prays, "Lord, help Bella to choose you Lord.  Help her to make you her Savior.  Help her to follow you."  By the end, I was bawling.  He looks at me like I'm crazy.  All I can say is, "Thank you buddy."
I don't know what the Lord has for His life.  I don't know who he will be.  But I do know God has a great plan.  And He does for you too.  God can still work and is working and you have the choice to follow and be who He has you to be.
Right now, the Lord has called me to be the mother to 3 littles. To raise them in the best way I can and teach them their schooling.  To show them how to live in a world that doesn't choose Him.  When they are gone, I suppose I shall be asking myself, "What now Lord?  What will you have me to be now?"  And He will again have another plan.