The Mama Guilt Battle

Guilt...usually something referred to after committing an offense or a feeling after something you have done wrong.  Then why so often do I feel this emotion as a mother.  I mean I love staying home with our boys.  It's truly a privilege and it has paid off more than any monetary value ever could.  I have friends who would love to be able to stay home with their little ones.  But whether you are a stay at home mama or a working mama, this feeling of guilt creeps its ugly head into our mind and thoughts. 

There are days when I look a total mess...buried under a mountain of laundry, still in my jams, trying to find a few minutes to shower, making a grocery list, dishwasher full, sink full, need to vaccuum, trash full, toys are everywhere, deciding on dinner, check on the animals...aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh the list goes on.  I feel overwhelmed.  And on top of that I need to give my boys the attention that they need.  How do we do it all and make time for our husbands at the end of the day??? 

It's an ugly thing this mama guilt.  It robs me of joy, whispers lies, and tells me I will never be good enough.

The things that help me through are the powerful truths in the word that refute the lies the enemy is trying to feed me. 

2 Corinthians 12:9,10 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Romans 8:1-3a “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.”

Philippians 4: 4-6 “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

So here I am trying to boast in my weakness.  Deciding today not to feel the lie of condemnation.  That is not from my God.  Remind yourself the list is not a MUST to get done today.  The list will be there tomorrow.  I'm not saying that you should just let your house fall apart, but these little lives that you are touching matter much more for eternity.  No one ever said, "man if I only could have mopped that floor one more time."  ;) 

I know each day I am going to have to renew my committment to choose joy, choose love, choose to get done what I can and get to the rest later.  I want to enjoy these few years while my children are at home.  Enjoy them and play and learn with them.  Enjoy sitting on the porch with my husband and drinking a glass of iced tea watching Brody run like a maniac.  This life is too quick...

Delivered

We had our first calf of the year last week.  A little heifer calf...for those of you who are farm illiterate, that means girl calf.  haha.  She was just perfect.  Here she is with her mama.

Well, the next couple days we had some unwanted visitors.  A male and female coyote got news of her arrival and thought she might make a nice meal for them.  It happened to be Sunday morning while I was at church practicing, so Bo was home alone with the boys.  He had just put Gage down for a nap and looked out to see something moving around in the woods.  He realized what it was and went to go get his rifle.  Brody stayed inside and watched the action through his "minoculars."  :)  Let's just say Bo was blessed because he not only got one, but both of the coyotes. 

Here are the rascals.  Just a normal day at the farm.  And just another normal day for the life of a believer and especially a new believer.  Whether we are spritually mature or a brand new baby in Christ, the enemy loves to attack us.

It made me think of the verse about new believers drinking milk, "Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation..."(I Peter 2:2).  I correlated that to the calf.  She obviously is only drinking her mama's milk.  She's just a new baby, and she is being attacked by these wild coyotes.  Just like a newborn calf is at it's weakest and most vulnerable point in life, a new believer is at their most vulnerable point in their walk with Christ, and therefore, is immediately targeted for attack.  Satan is immediately there trying to place doubts about God or their salvation in their minds, or unwanted thoughts and temptations in their hearts.

Thankfully, the Word gives us courses of action we can take: 
"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." James 4:7 Speak up to the devil in the name of Jesus. "Greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world." Jesus said, "I am with you [always]."

Then our protector, defender, conqueror, shield, deliverer will come to the rescue.  (Bo and his 30/30)  He is right there with us the whole time.  He can and will intervene in the midst of trial and helplessness.  Praise God!!!

Psalm 27:1-2 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell...

Psalm 18:1-7  How I love you, Lord! You are my defender.  The Lord is my protector; he is my strong fortress. My God is my protection, and with him I am safe. He protects me like a shield; he defends me and keeps me safe.  I call to the Lord, and he saves me from my enemies. Praise the Lord!  The danger of death was all around me; the waves of destruction rolled over me.  The danger of death was around me, and the grave set its trap for me.  In my trouble I called to the Lord; I called to my God for help. In his temple he heard my voice; he listened to my cry for help... 

P.S.  When someone you love comes to know the Lord, lift them up in prayer.  Pray with them, encourage them in their walk with the Lord.  Take them through a discipleship program. 

Pause

Isn't it amazing how we can be watching a movie and we are in need of a drink, so we just pause it so we can begin right where we left off when we get back.  I have been feeling that feeling all week.  I wish I could just pause life right now.  My little boys are getting older by the minute.  This is the last year in my twenties...waaaaaah!  And the unknowns in life are before me.  Deep breath!

So this week I am trying to enjoy the simple things.  Brody and I have played outside every day this week.  We have ran all over the farm.  Today we went to check our cow that has been "going to calve" (per Bo) all week.  Obviously birth is not that easy.  I told him they are like people.  Some women go longer than their due date and some before.  She's really not even due til tomorrow.  But what do I know.  ;) We filled up water tanks, checked on the goats, threw sticks for Bear...the list goes on.  Gage is usually with us, but today he happened to take an extra long nap.  So it was just me and Brody.  We don't get to do that too often anymore. 

Then there's my Gager (Brody's nickname for his bro).  He had his 9 month check-up today.  (sigh)  Where did the time go.  He brings such joy to our lives.  He's always smiling and giggling.  Although getting his two front teeth are quite a workout.  He keeps screaming because he is biting his fingers.  Poor little guy.  Every milestone he makes is a little victory in my heart.  It's still all too real sitting with him in the hospital for 5 weeks straight.  Our lives were forever changed from that...in a good way. 

So, here I sit.  Gage still sleeping, Brody watching Rio, Bo at work dreaming of the weekend :), and me using these spare few minutes to meditate on how thankful I am for now.  Of course life isn't perfect.  We all have our little issues that we deal with every day.  But at this moment I am going to take a minute to pause and let the feeling of thankfulness and greatfulness of life wash over me.  God, you are good. 

Ephesians 5:20 giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ...