Pondering

I was stopped in my tracks this week at how quickly life is going.  I just sat down the other night and had a good cry about my son who has grown into a little boy over night.  I shouldn't have, but I watched some little videos of him when he was 2 and my heart ached.  We are getting ready to start kindergarten.  Seriously, I can NOT take it.  I have a lump in my throat just thinking about it.  Gage will start preschool with us this year.  And Bella will mostly play and try to thwart our efforts of work. :-)  But, I embrace it all.  I am reveling in this coming season.  This is the season of life that has filled my heart so much.  I absolutely have those days of wanting to lock the door and have complete silence, every mom does.  It's normal.  But for today, I feel that exciting, blessed, joy from being so very thankful for His provision.  I get to teach these little ones everything I know, everything I can, and give my all for their benefit.

As we walked down our drive for our daily trip to the mailbox, I watched each one of them closely.  Brody, running full speed!  Always wanting to be the leader.  The first one to the end of the driveway.  Gage, trying to keep up with Brody.  Stopping to cry for a minute because he can't.  Then getting distracted by an ant hill and a butterfly.  And Bella, waddling after the boys.  Not really watching or caring where she's actually going.  She just wants to be a part of it all.  She's a free spirit.  It made me think how different we all are.  How those are journeys we are all on.  Some of us running full speed to win the prize.  Some running but getting upset because we can't keep up and then distracted by something else.  Some just going that way because everyone else is.  And at different times in our lives I believe we fit into one of those categories.  And so many others.

I guess I just want to remember this time.  This time in each of their little lives.  This feeling of something amazing is about to happen.  God is so good.  He is such a giver of gifts and grace.  His outpouring of favor on us unbelievable.  He loves me and He wants great things for our lives.  I feel like I need to live in that for the moment.  Saturate myself in how good He is.  I know this isn't an amazing teaching or me sharing something I learned.  But today I just want to enjoy this goodness.