Input-Output

My mom is famous in my family for her sayings...some of which include:


"If all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you?"
"Just say no, that's the magic word.  NO NO NO!" 
"Look carefully at the closest associations in your life, for that is the direction you are heading."
"What is right is not always popular, and what is popular is not always right." 

They have stuck with me over time and now I think about them when I see people I know and myself doing the wrong thing whenever we know better to do the right thing.  It takes no sense of thought or discernment to say yes to worldly things.  It takes character and obedience to say no.

My husband spoke last Wednesday night at our church.  He spoke on doing the right thing no matter what.  Doing right with small decisions and big decisions.  He used men from the Bible...Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.  They were faithful to God in the small and the big decisions of life, and God was faithful and saved them from death.  He went on to say that in this world you can argue and debate just about any issue.  It's happening right now all over the internet and every media venue.  People are debating issues and some believe there's gray areas... but I believe that's not true.  I believe God gave us the guide book of life.  Any questions are answered in there.  It is black and white truth.  There is no gray area.  There is right and wrong. 

When I was a little girl, I learned a song that I can't remember the entire lyrics to, but this is the part I remember.  "Input, Output, what goes in must come out, daily you must choose."  I think that is where the gray area came from.  What we "input" into our minds and hearts.  What are you reading?  What are you watching?  What are you singing?  Whatever you put into your mind, will eventually come out in you.  If you fill your mind with garbage and impure thoughts, what is gonna come out?  When you are at home?  Garbage.  When you are alone?   Garbage.  When you are worshipping?  Garbage.  When you are at school, on a date, in the car????  Garbage.  I know I am being harsh, but we cannot think that these things we think on won't effect our lives. 

Solomon said it first: Prov 4:23 - Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.
Prov 23:7 - For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.
Mt 12:34-35 - And Jesus said: For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. The good man out of his good treasure brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of his evil treasure brings forth what is evil.
Galatians 6:7 - Do not be deceived, God is not mocked.  For whatsoever a man sows, that he will also reap.
Phil 4:8-9…whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things…practice these things; and the God of peace shall be with you.


So, that being said, if you want good things to flow from you, you will choose to read, watch, listen to good things.  It is your choice.

Grass-Fed Beef

Okay, so this blog entry is informational and not inspirational.  I apologize.  But I wanted to explain why we do grass-fed beef and why it is so good for you to eat. 
First of all, our meat is pesticide, antibiotic, and hormone free.  And they never have a lick of corn.  The first question from customers who visit our farm is, "Where's the feeders?"  Which means, where are your feed troughs that you give grain and other antibiotic-filled pellets?  Most cattle have to have tons of antibiotics because they don't get fresh grass and are on a feed-lot their whole lives constantly fighting diseases.  Most farmers we talk to just can't understand how our cows survive the winter without grain.  But they do, and very robustly so.  While it is true that they fatten more quickly on grain, it does not do their bodies good, nor does it do our bodies good.  So the cattle community of course wants to quickly and efficiently make as much money as possible and they do.  But red meat then becomes bad for our hearts and our health.  I will refute this with our grass-fed beef.
Our cows are moved daily and sometimes twice a day to ensure fresh grass daily.  They are rotated so that they only come back to the same pasture once every 45 days.  This type of rotational grazing allows our cattle to have "good fat."  Which I knows seems like an oxy-moron, but it truly isn't.  There are good fats and bad fats.  Omega-3 fatty acids...good....Omega-6...bad...:)  Every day that cows spend in a feed lot, it's supply of omega-3's diminishes.  Omega 3 helps fight cancer, reduce the risk of heart disease, and increase blood-flow.  Those are just a few of the important things. :) 

Anyway, I just wanted to clarify the difference in our cattle.  We are doing something a little different.  And while I am not a health fanatic...which I think is very admirable, I am kind of in the middle somewhere.  And while I try to eat right, sometimes a good old brownie or coca-cola gets the best of me.  ;)  So while some may tell you that grass-fed meat is lean and chewy and flavorless...I disagree!  I believe healthy GRASSFAT omega 3 meat is our goal!  It is full of flavor and marbeling.  And last night I had a filet that was better than any restaurant filet I've had.  And believe me, I grew up eating tons of steak.  Well, thanks for reading my ramblings.  I hope those of you who have bought our meat are satisfied, and those who haven't give it a try sometime.  We appreciate your business!

Bo and Sarah T

One of our calves...

Dry

As I sit here, I am looking out at the fields of hay.  Or something that's supposed to look like lush, green fields of hay, but looks more like a wheat field.  The goats and cows don't seem to mind yet.  They still have plenty to eat, but it looks like the beginning of fall instead of the first of summer...which actually doesn't begin til this week.  Unbelievable I know!  I went out to help Bo tonight, which I tend to do regularly, and wore my sandals.  That was a bad decision.  The dried out hay poked at my bare feet and hurt.  It was then that I made the connection of how bad we need rain. 
I mean, I know we have needed rain, but it is now detrimental to the longevity of our fields.  We will quickly be feeding hay bales to the animals if rain doesn't come down.  And whatever happened today doesn't count as a rain shower if it only lasts 2 minutes. 
My brain is constantly making comparisons of things, so that's why I tend to blog the way that I do.  But this dry land reminded me of how dry in spirit we get sometimes.  We give and give to our families and to the people around us.  We are tired physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  We are dried up because we don't spend enough time in the presence of the One who fills us up.  I don't want to be that person.
I want to constantly be filling up with the Spirit.  I always know when I'm not spending enough time with God.  I get irritable and short.  I get angry and spew words that aren't uplifting or caring.  I yell at the boys.  I start to dry up and crumble into someone I don't want to be.  I then realize...whoa, I think it's been a few days since I've spent some time with God.  Because when I'm spending time in the Word every day and praying, I feel totally different.  Of course life still gets crazy, but I'm more calm.  I'm more understanding.  I am more discerning.  I am a better mom and wife. 
Just like the pastures when they are rained upon on a regular basis, they are green and growing.  They are lovely to look at and provide life to others.  And when the animals eat it all, new growth immediately is following what has been consumed.  It never stops.  Without the water, the fields eventually dry up and die and are of no use to the animals.  Same with me.  Without Jesus, I become useless to others and have nothing to offer. 
I've known the Lord since I was five.  So I have seen patterns in my life throughout the years of knowing Jesus.  There have been times where I have seeked Him with longing and times I have just went through the motions.  Too much I have gone through the motions of being the good Christian girl.  Doing what every one thinks is right and looking like the good girl.  I don't want that.  I want to do the right things because I have a passion to please Jesus and reach others.  Remember this song by Matthew West?
This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

Don't just go through the motions of life.  Don't just be the "good girl" because it's what you've always done.  Find your passion through Jesus and be full of life through His Spirit.
 

Matthew 5: 6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

John 4:13-14 Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water shall thirst again; 14 but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”

John 7:37 On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink.

For Good

Romans 8:28 says "We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God-those whom He has called according to His plan."

You've heard this verse.  You've doubted it through a trial.  I've doubted it through a trial.  The anniversary of my biggest trial to date is tomorrow June 1st.  Then proceeded the longest 5 weeks of my life.  Time slowed down almost to a standstill.  Every hour that went by seemed to tick tick tick away. 
It started Friday the 13th of May.  I know, I know, but we aren't superstitious.  I went in for my routine check-up at the doctor for baby number 2.  We then went to McDonald's for lunch, and while sitting there I thought I peed my pants.  Turns out I can hold my bladder, and my water had broken at 29 weeks.  I was rushed to Miami Valley Hospital by ambulance.  That was wild!  They got my labor stopped and then I was stuck on bedrest at the hospital until the baby would come.  Our world was turned upside down.  Brody, who was used to having his mommy at all times, was now with daddy.  And daddy, who was used to having his wife at all times, was now mommy, daddy, auditor, goat herder, and cattle man.  That's a lot of jobs for anyone.  It took a quick toll on him and my mother-n-law showed up to help take the load off during the week, and then my parents would come on the weekends.  It makes me tear up when I think that during those 3 weeks before Gage was born I never went a day without seeing Brody or having a visitor.  I felt very loved.  Thank you friends and family for loving me that much. 



Well, today, one year ago I started having more intense contractions that were far apart.  But about 11 pm that night they were about 3 minutes apart.  Doctor came to check and said, "we need to get her down to the OR."  I had a natural birth, but we were there in case things turned bad for me.  I called Bo and he came immediately.  At 5 am, June 1st, Gage Kenneth Troyer was born.  He came out screaming and we had tears of joy that he was breathing.  He was 31 weeks old and weighed 4 lbs. 4 oz.  He never needed oxygen.  His biggest hurdles were figuring out how to eat without a feeding tube and regulating his body temperature...which he still has difficulties with.  Anyway, 3 weeks went by at a snails pace visiting him twice a day at the hospital.  I couldn't think of anything else when I was at home besides being at the hospital.  And when I was at the hospital I felt guilty that Brody wasn't getting my attention.  Needless to say I was depressed.  Bo and I were both bone tired and cranky.  We would just hold each other and cry.  It was so hard.  But we finally made it to the day we could take him home.  He would have been 34 weeks in my belly.  We went in that morning believing we could take our baby home and were hit by a brick wall.  That night, Gage started having bloody stools, and they immediately did some x-rays to see that his bowels were infected.  He had something called NEC...necrotizing entercolitis.  They proceeded to tell us the horrible odds that almost all babies have to have part of their colons removed...or the 40 percent death rate.  I couldn't let myself go there.  I refused to believe my baby would die.  I had to or else I would have died inside as well. 

They immediately put him on strong meds and he was in the hospital another 2 weeks fighting this infection before we got him home.  He lived and he had no side effects in his bowels!

(Gage's 1st day home)

That was a miracle.  I realize this story is not personal to you.  And it's kind of long, but it is a testimony to our God.  When we thought the worst was happening, God, in His mighty goodness and power, turned it all for good.  Our Gage is a crawling miracle baby.  And tomorrow he turns 1 year old.  He isn't walking like a lot of babies his age, or saying any words.  But that will come in time.  He is living and breathing and we are beyond blessed with this life God has entrusted to us at this time.  Happy Birthday Gage Kenneth Troyer.  You bring us tears of joy!

(new sandbox!!!)

Protector

We had some tragedy at the farm a few weeks back.  A coyote or two came during the night and caught two baby goats for their dinner.  They also left one little baby with a hole in the top of its head and in the bottom of its jaw, which caused its mouth to close unnaturally.  Bo and I affectionately started calling her jack-jaw.  Awwww...aren't we sweet. :)
So back to the story.  We bought a guard dog.  A wonderful two year old Great Pyrenees named Buddy.  And while Buddy's name sounds playful, his demeanor is no such thing.  He is here to do a job.  He doesn't have time to be petted or played with or loved on.  He has goats to watch and herd and will not come near us.  He is an amazing work dog...he's just not a pet.  And we are learning to be okay with that.  We already have a pet, Bear, who will love you more than you want to be loved.  He's a 150 pound Bernese Mountain Dog.  And he still believes with all his heart that he is a puppy.
But, this story is not about Bear. 
So we got Buddy home.  We let him out into the goat pen, and he immediately went to each baby goat and smelled them.  He walked the perimeter of the fence and checked out every little thing.  Then he went to work checking each noise and howling of the wind.  It was about 9 at night, and that's when they are most on alert is during the night.  So he went right to work doing what he does.  Being the guardian of the goats. :)
 
This is a picture of Buddy.  Isn't he cute.  Don't you want to cuddle him.  Well, it's not possible.  I wanted to take some better pictures of him with the goats, but he runs like the wind every time I go out there. :) 
Every day I see him out there barking an alarm to the goats if there's any suspicious noise, or cuddling all the babies around him during his naps, or herding them in before the storm hits, and I am reminded of our very own protector.  Doesn't He do all those things for us.  He is our guardian (guard dog), which is someone that prevents injury.  He is whispering a warning in our ear about something, He holds us close when we feel alone.  He's always there whether we acknowledge it or not.  He is preparing us for the storms of this imperfect life.  But I think I don't always allow myself to be protected.  I can do this crazy life.  Or I am so caught up in life that I forget that He's still sitting there with me if only I will recognize His presence.  If I will listen to His voice trying to prevent me from failure.  If we fully trust in Him, He will be with us through the hard times and the great times...and all the in-between times.  He's always there watching, waiting, protecting.  Just call out to Him.  He wants to take care of us. 
Psalm 91
 You who sit down in the High God's presence, spend the night in Shaddai's shadow,
Say this: "God, you're my refuge.
I trust in you and I'm safe!"
That's right—he rescues you from hidden traps,
shields you from deadly hazards.
His huge outstretched arms protect you—
under them you're perfectly safe;
his arms fend off all harm.
Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night,
not flying arrows in the day,
Not disease that prowls through the darkness,
not disaster that erupts at high noon.
Even though others succumb all around,
drop like flies right and left,
no harm will even graze you.
You'll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance,
watch the wicked turn into corpses.
Yes, because God's your refuge,
the High God your very own home,
Evil can't get close to you,
harm can't get through the door.
He ordered his angels
to guard you wherever you go.
If you stumble, they'll catch you;
their job is to keep you from falling.
You'll walk unharmed among lions and snakes,
and kick young lions and serpents from the path.

^14-16 "If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God,
"I'll get you out of any trouble.
I'll give you the best of care
if you'll only get to know and trust me.
Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times;
I'll rescue you, then throw you a party.
I'll give you a long life,
give you a long drink of salvation!"

Birth

It never ceases to amaze me at each new life we help bring in to the world here.  I can't imagine how rewarding it is to be a labor and delivery nurse with all the excitement and fulfillment you get when ushering a new babe into the world.  There's just a sense of awe and wonder, and absolute amazement.  I am feeling that way today and have been feeling that way since our animals started delivering this year. 

I had to assist Bo in delivering a very large calf the other day.  Now I know I don't look like the type to be a farmer's wife...which is what everyone tells me.  I'm not sure what a farmer's wife is supposed to look like???  Do I look like a city girl???  Well anyway, I had been watching this heifer all day long.  She would lay down and stand up and was fidgety.  I walked out to her and saw the water sac coming out.  It is what proceeds the front hooves.  Once it bursts, you can almost bet that shortly you will have a calf.  Well, I let her be and came out to check her a while later.  Still nothing.  I could tell she was getting very uncomfortable.  And usually by this time several things could be the problem.  Bo thankfully pulled in the drive from work and walked her into the corrals.  He checked and figured out the baby wasn't breech, so that was good.  But, it wasn't budging either.  I helped him get the chains wrapped around the hooves that were sticking out and then when she would contract, we would pull.  After about 10-15 minutes of pulling, we finally had the largest calf I've ever seen. 
    

                         

Typically, a calf weighs about 70 lbs.  Well this little bull calf weighed a whopping 120 lbs.  There was no way this first time mama was gonna push that monster out.  Praise the Lord Bo came when he did, because otherwise he would have suffocated in there.  There was no way I was gonna pull him myself.  Well as soon as he hit the ground, I was cheering and screaming and crying all at the same time.  Brody was watching in a bit of fear.  But started cheering with me when he saw she was okay.  What a great feeling.  LIFE! 

I was thinking what a celebration it is for each one of us that are re-born.  We get born into the kingdom of God and He is probably crying with joy over one more who gets to spend eternity with Him.  How amazing!  This life is so precious.  It makes me want to roam the streets proclaiming that our time is so short.  The Word says it's like a mist...here and then gone.  It makes me ache with longing for my loved ones to know the One my heart yearns for.  To have that relationship that makes all the difference in the world.  Our time is short, let's share life with the world, eternal life.

You do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  James 4:14

Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.   John 17:3

Under Attack!

At 4:00 yesterday evening, our 10 month old Gage, woke from his nap.  Earlier in the day he had a little runny nose, which I attributed to teething.  It was clear, there was a low-grade fever...all normal things.  I think as a mama you are constantly assessing the situation and praying you have it under control.  He woke up moaning and I went to get him.  He just laid his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes.  This is not normal behavior for Gage.  If you have seen him at all, the child doesn't sit still.  He is what we call a wallower.  So while I was enjoying the moment of him resting on me I could feel he was somewhat warm.  I took him downstairs and laid him on the floor to change his diaper.  His little arms and legs started turning blue and his face was beat red.  And he was acting like he couldn't breathe.  I immediately picked him up and started checking him.  Something was not right.  His eyes were closed and if he tried to open them they rolled back in his head.  We took him to Children's and they told us he had a 104 temp.  He had some kind of a virus that was causing the fever.  And Gage and fevers just don't mix.  A few months ago he was having seizures from fevers.  The child has never regulated his temp well.  It's been that way since the beginning when he came too early and was in that little isolate for 5 weeks. 

All that to say, I am feeling broken today.  It seems like this week the enemy is trying to gain a foothold.  I prayed and cried to God last night to bind the enemy and make him leave.  It has just been one thing after another.  I feel like I have been attacked personally, emotionally, spiritually, and now my family physically.  But it's nothing new.  He is always trying to find little ways to puncture our walls.  Maybe he can get something to give way and find a way in.  I ask for prayer from you all.  I'm just tired of fighting at this moment.  I need renewed strength. 

As I was praying this morning I was thinking of how horrible it is to see our children suffering.  And it just made me think how our Father sympathizes with us when we are suffering.  Jesus is praying on my behalf to the Father.  How comforting.  Jesus, the son of God, loves me that much to remember me and pray for me.  So I am holding on to this today...Psalm 27:1-2 The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the strength of my life; of Whom shall I be afraid?  When the wicked came against me to eat up my flesh, My enemies and foes, they stumbled and fell...

Here are some other scriptures to help during attack.

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. James 4:7

Put on God's whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil. Ephesians 6: 11

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6: 12

You shall not fear them, for the Lord your God shall fight for you. Deuteronomy 3: 22

[And indeed] the Lord will certainly deliver and draw me to Himself from every assault of evil. He will preserve and bring me safe unto His heavenly kingdom. To Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen (so be it).
2 Timothy 4: 18
Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you. ~ Luke 10:19